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She looked at the audience from behind the curtain. She gasped at the full auditorium. She was confident about her talents but she couldn't stop the nervous feeling in her stomach. She tried to refocus, took a deep breath, and spritzed her favorite perfume on her wrist. She was flooded with relief with the fragrance filling the air - calming her down, making her at ease and giving her the familiar feeling of comfort. She associated this perfume with comfort as she had always purchased this fragrance from her teen years that reminded her of happy days! 

Feeling stuck in life? The brain is like that! We often perceive and associate situations, things, or people by making sense of the different stimuli with things we have learned from the past. The moment we receive a stimulus from the surrounding, we end up interpreting it with a set of processes learned throughout our life. This association may happen multiple times in a day, and its association may go far back into one’s childhood days. We learn these processes, organize the information in the brain, and even begin to label things as we have learned in the past. 

The way we perceive things has a colossal effect on the results we create in life. This perception is what makes you differentiate the type of clothes you wear to the things that cause you fear such as the presence of a spider may make you feel discomfort. 

The moment you begin the process of naming it (the emotions), you move towards taming it!

The brain has learned to associate some things as harmless or harmful. We can visualize a building when we say the word -‘building’, or we are aware of the beauty of a seascape as we’ve seen numerous photographs of the same. Based on this, we may often take action to label the feelings we experience through our learned behavior upon saying the words. 

For example, you may reach out to your favorite color on the clothing rack because you’ve associated this color with your personality for years. Similarly, when you face fear, your reptilian brain may turn active to find the best suitable response to your fear.

The brain - it has its mind! It stores beautiful and troublesome memories - some intentional, others unintentionally trapped emotions. It responds to your reality in a way that is trained over some time. When it comes to fear and insecurity, the brain also creates grandiosity by making situations appear larger than they are. 

Why you ‘Feel Stuck in Life’ Often

So often in life, you do not find answers to many things that trouble the mind. You feel stuck, sinking deeper and deeper, and the more you hit your hands around, the more you feel yourself sinking further. Being stuck feels terrible - you know your life can be different but you don’t know how to move ahead and why it feels so terrible. Positive and negative emotions are a part of life.

The brain here has already created a grandiosity where you react rapidly and the fear is engulfing your thoughts, feelings, and actions. 

You might feel fear because -

• You don’t know how to solve the problem
• You are unsure about the decision
• You cannot find a clear path
• You have fear of the unknown (Trapped emotions)

The reptilian brain creates the fear and grandiosity making you feel that you are sinking further and feel trapped in life. 

What should you do to move ahead from ‘Feeling Stuck’?

As we discussed earlier, the brain is used to perceiving information from the processes learned in the past. For example, you can identify an animal when you see it because you have learned to associate it in the past with the help of a photograph and a name.

Learn Mindfulness to manage the mind

Similarly, you need to begin to label your emotions to sort out the chaos created in the mind. This forms the base for the action.

Ask yourself -

1. What are the thoughts you are feeling now?
2. What is the feeling or the emotion generated along with this thought?
3. What is the next step you would like to take to move from this space?

The most important thing is to have the knowledge to label your emotions to acknowledge your fear, sadness, worry, hopelessness, and other trapped emotions. 

Labeling these emotions ensures you give it less power over you. It allows you to step outside the fear, observe the emotion, and go, “Hmmm. I know what you are, and I will try to overcome you soon.”

You will notice your fear dropping quickly to accommodate confidence in your body, mind, and actions. 

You move towards clarity when -

• You ask yourself curious questions about the situations
• You probe deeply to know the cause of your fear (and know if you are making a mountain out of a molehill.)
• You can sift through your thoughts and emotions to make better decisions.

It’s not always important to know the action plan immediately. What’s most important is knowing and labeling your emotions to understand your internal struggle. 

A deeper understanding of fear ensures -

• You get clarity on your thoughts
• You can recognize your fear and its patterns
• You can work on self-confidence and trust to make better decisions

So, how does one get improved clarity to be a better decision-maker in life?

Ask yourself the following questions when you feel stuck in life

1. What is happening to me right now? 
2. Which area do I feel stuck in?
3. What makes me feel stuck, how do I know I am stuck?
4. What action do I wish to take to move away from this feeling?
5. What is the feeling I experience for being stuck?
6. What is happening to me right now? What can I do to improve my current state of mind?

This curious attitude works towards understanding your inner troubles while working towards releasing negative emotions that make you feel stuck in life. The moment you begin the process of naming it (the emotions), you move towards taming it!

So, which areas are you stuck in life right now? Do you wish to elevate your life to the next level? Join the Mindfulness Practitioner course with Dr. Paras and begin installing new patterns to learn to label your thoughts, be in the present moment, be comfortable with yourself, practice a state of calm, and more.